Finding my delight in the journey of adoption.

Orphan Tuesday

Since I ran out of time to blog on Sunday, this is my Orphan Tuesday post. What a beautiful and tragic day! Service was lovely with a testimony from a family who adopted a son at the age of 10. Each family member gave his or her testimony. Praise God for people like them.

After service, we attended a luncheon. The guest speaker was one of my adoption heros – Carolyn Tweitmeyer
(http://www.projecthopeful.org/). Carolyn and her husband have adopted seven children, two of whom are HIV positive (one with AIDS). She advocates for adoption of children with special needs, especially HIV/AIDS. She’s funny and candid, and I got to meet her! For an adoption junkie, this is like a football junkie meeting Payton Manning or someone like that.

I was seriously psyched up for adoption after this, but then I came crashing down. I am so excited and ready to be an adoptive parent and yet, I just had to come home to an empty house with an undetermined length of time to continue waiting. It was very overwhelming. We went to Toys R Us to buy gifts for our nephews, and I was so sad to be shopping once more for other people’s kids.

I have daily crises of faith. Believing God is so much different from actually believing God. Of course I believe that God exists, that he created the world, that he sent his son to die for me. But I rarely believe his promises – that he will never leave or forsake me, that he will answer my prayers and wipe away every tear. Ann Voskamp says that a failure to trust in the promises of God is the equivalent of practical atheism. Bold, but so true. Faith involves trust, and the Enemy loves to make me doubt.

Praise the Lord that his love and protection of me is unrelated to the strength of my faith!

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