Week Two – Satisfaction
Another weeks of ups and downs. The best part was that four dear friends began the journey (we had to start early because we are going on vacation at the end of the month, and I am not eating only 7 foods on vacation). It has been such a blessing to hear the things the Lord has been doing in them. We have all had moments of real brokenness and moments of real closeness with Jesus. We are learning every day to turn to him with our cravings, anxiety and stress. We are learning to surrender and stop relying on our own strength.
Lately I’ve been realizing that life is not really hard because of this fast, life is actually always this hard. I just use things like food to mask the difficulty and to cope. Isn’t that what all of us are doing every day? We just try and get by, whatever way we can. We use all these different methods to dull the pain of life – food, alcohol, vacation, exercise, socializing. These things are not evil in and of themselves, but we turn them into our gods. We run to them for relief rather than running to the only God who can really satisfy.
I remind myself daily that as enjoyable as that [coffee, cookie, diet coke] would be, in a few hours, I will need more. It won’t truly satisfy. What if I really craved Jesus like I crave chocolate? Don’t you feel like the real warriors of Christianity did?
In adoption news, I am having a really hard time right now. I see the days tick by with no news. We are going on four months since we accepted the referral. Instead of the children coming home in the spring, now it’s maybe summer…soon it will be fall. I am struggling to see the purpose in this waiting. Meanwhile, I am processing a lot of sadness. It pains me that we live in a world where children have to be placed in adoption. I don’t know exactly what to do with this sorrow other than to lay it at the Cross and say "Come, Lord Jesus!" (Rev. 22:20) When he comes, there will be no more pain, no more sorrow, no more orphans. (Rev. 21:4)