Finding my delight in the journey of adoption.

Is it possible?

There’s a lot of press these days about ethical adoptions.  A number of new books have recently come out, a documentary is making a nationwide tour, and the DRC has been seeing some ups and downs with its program (maybe other countries too, but I mostly follow DRC).

On one of my FB group pages, a common question is posed:  How can we ensure that adoptions are ethical?  I love the hearts of the adoptive parents out there.  We all want to have ethical adoptions.  No one gets into adoption to traffic a child.  I personally know parents who have discovered that their adoption shouldn’t have passed muster, and the heartache is great.  But is it possible to avoid this?  The how is so much harder.

Faced with the difficulty of ensuring an ethical adoption, parents can go one of three ways:  give up entirely, go forward in the face of possible shady circumstances, and move heaven and earth to try and do it ethically.  There are certainly pros and cons to each approach, and it’s hard to say which is really the right answer.  The waters are muddy.

And isn’t that what’s so hard about ethics?  Once you are sure that no laws are broken, there’s still an area of gray.  Sometimes the answer is unclear.

This is why I am still on the fence about starting again.  I don’t want to give up, but I am scared of getting back in the water.  I don’t want to screw it up!

As a Christian, I am called to get into the water.  All the way to the deep end.  Yes, we can’t fix all the problems with international adoption.  The whole idea comes out of a broken, messy tragedy.  Same with global poverty, world hunger, sex trafficking, war.  There are no easy answers.  But we have to try, don’t we?  Because sometimes it works.  Sometimes there is redemption.

And, really, what else do we have to do?  Isn’t this why we are on earth?  To work towards redemption and restoration.  I can’t sit home and just focus on myself and my family.  That’s not why I was put on the earth.  I have been given so much, and I have a responsibility to use my resources towards this goal of restoration.

It’s scary.  It’s hard.  I don’t have any answers.  But I will keep walking forward in obedience to the One who does.


3 responses

  1. TAO

    My question is why it is up to the prospective parents to ensure the adoption is ethical? If agencies state they are ethical – then wouldn’t they also feel the need to speak up and get the unethical people and agences thrown out? They are the ones who claim expertise – why should it be that the ones with the least experience must carry the burden of the adoption done right? Until the adoption agencies walk the walk then it won’t get better – they will just move on to yet another country…past actions is a great predictor of the future actions. Sorry to be negative but the latest responses to the challenges voiced show they are blaming others (rare bad apples) and yet not willing to walk the walk. There are other choices than adoption you can pursue to help those who need a hand up. Happy First Mothers Day!

    May 10, 2013 at 10:08 am

    • Absolutely! That’s the topic of another post I want to write. The buck should stop with the agencies. That’s why people hire them! But by and large they don’t see that as their role. That has to change if IA has an viable future.

      May 10, 2013 at 10:47 am

  2. A good reminder. I’ve stayed pretty quiet in the millions of posts about adoption reform, reviews of “Stuck” and opinions being aired every 2 seconds. There are people suffering, and the most important problem currently facing the DRC is not adoption corruption. May we continue to pray, and move forward on behalf of those Jesus loves…:)

    May 13, 2013 at 6:22 am

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