There’s a lot of press these days about ethical adoptions. A number of new books have recently come out, a documentary is making a nationwide tour, and the DRC has been seeing some ups and downs with its program (maybe other countries too, but I mostly follow DRC).
On one of my FB group pages, a common question is posed: How can we ensure that adoptions are ethical? I love the hearts of the adoptive parents out there. We all want to have ethical adoptions. No one gets into adoption to traffic a child. I personally know parents who have discovered that their adoption shouldn’t have passed muster, and the heartache is great. But is it possible to avoid this? The how is so much harder.
Faced with the difficulty of ensuring an ethical adoption, parents can go one of three ways: give up entirely, go forward in the face of possible shady circumstances, and move heaven and earth to try and do it ethically. There are certainly pros and cons to each approach, and it’s hard to say which is really the right answer. The waters are muddy.
And isn’t that what’s so hard about ethics? Once you are sure that no laws are broken, there’s still an area of gray. Sometimes the answer is unclear.
This is why I am still on the fence about starting again. I don’t want to give up, but I am scared of getting back in the water. I don’t want to screw it up!
As a Christian, I am called to get into the water. All the way to the deep end. Yes, we can’t fix all the problems with international adoption. The whole idea comes out of a broken, messy tragedy. Same with global poverty, world hunger, sex trafficking, war. There are no easy answers. But we have to try, don’t we? Because sometimes it works. Sometimes there is redemption.
And, really, what else do we have to do? Isn’t this why we are on earth? To work towards redemption and restoration. I can’t sit home and just focus on myself and my family. That’s not why I was put on the earth. I have been given so much, and I have a responsibility to use my resources towards this goal of restoration.
It’s scary. It’s hard. I don’t have any answers. But I will keep walking forward in obedience to the One who does.
I don’t have much to update today, but I hope to later this week! Baby’s coming soon, Lord willing.
I was honored a couple weeks ago that my blog was mentioned by PEAR (Parents for Ethical Adoption Reform) in a post about ethics in DRC adoptions. PEAR is a non-profit org that seeks to provide resources and information to prospective adoptive parents, specifically in the arena of ethics. I have found their website really helpful and necessary as we try and navigate the process. Check it out!
My blog post on Adoption Agency Accountability was also mentioned by The Adopted Ones Blog last week. So fun! It’s a great blog from an adoptee’s perspective.
Finally, I recommend you read Family Hope Love if you are passionate about caring for orphans and widows. Sara is writing a book geared toward international adoption reform as a parent who has walked the journey. She wrote a very convicting post that, I think, really highlights the role we are prospective parents play in encouraging further corruption. It’s a tough read, but worth it.